I know I haven’t posted in a while, and so much has happened in the four months since my last blog entry that I don’t even know where to begin an “update.”
Perhaps, the biggest development has been completing my memoir, which, I imagine, was the literary equivalent of childbirth. A whole lot of beautiful, growth-filled moments, and unimaginable agony. If anyone had told me at the outset exactly what writing a memoir would entail, I’d probably have let the idea expire like so many of my other “good ideas” (i.e. learning to play the violin, becoming a hip-hop dancer or studying martial arts). Luckily, I didn’t know what I was getting into and – once invested – there was no way to abort my mission. I was in. I’d committed.
The hardest part wasn’t writing about my experiences. It was looking back at actions that I’ve taken and mistakes I’ve made and realizing that life isn’t a rehearsal. There are no do-overs. That said, I wouldn’t change any of the personal pain I’ve endured or any of my many boneheaded actions (like buying crack in Mexico – for other people, of course – or hooking up with strangers or skydiving). But I would change my recklessness with other people’s feelings. I broke a lot of hearts, and had mine broken in return. Sometimes, I broke the same hearts over and over again because I recycle (well, feelings and people anyway).
So I’ve decided that, moving forward, I’ll be less of an asshole. (I’m already less of an asshole in my thirties than I was in my twenties and I’m hoping that, by my forties, I’ll hardly be one at all).
The good news is, now that I’m done writing my memoir, I can get back to really exciting things – like organizing my disaster of a desk and balancing my checkbook. Seriously, though, sorry I’ve been so remiss. It is good to be back and to be working on lighter writing fare. Fingers crossed, I’ll have some great news about my work and, without a doubt, I intend to be back to my monthly blog posts, so stay tuned…