Honesty: The Best Policy
There’s nothing more powerful than telling the truth about ourselves and being loved exactly as we are. I’ve always known that. I think we all do. Human beings crave love almost as much as we crave food and water. In fact, once our basic survival needs are met, almost all of us would say that, beyond that, what makes life worthwhile is the feeling of connection. Whether it’s connection with ourselves, with others, with a Higher Power, with a sense of purpose, or some combination, being able to be transparent and to love and be loved is what makes life worthwhile.
The funny thing about being a person who’s recovered from an addiction is that, as much as I’ve always wanted to love and be loved, for a long time I operated with the core belief that I was inherently unlovable. That split between wanting love and feeling unworthy of it led me to act out in all sorts of destructive ways, then to lie about it. I didn’t want others to know the me I was determined to keep hidden, the me I feared was somehow irreparably broken.
If dishonesty is the surest way to a feeling of unlovability, then honesty is the gateway to embracing our own value. For me, recovery has meant, and continues to mean, taking the counterintuitive leap of sharing the parts of myself of which I’m most ashamed. It’s meant being open – not with everyone, but with my inner circle. It’s meant inviting myself to learn to love the “unlovable” parts about me.
I felt inspired today to invite you to share a truth with the people in your life, and to allow them to love even the parts of yourself that you’ve been conditioned to conceal. We all deserve to be embraced for all of who we are. So let’s be brave about being our authentic selves, because all of us are and always will be loveable.